Her: a memoir by Christa Paravanni
Discussion Questions:
1. Is anyone here a twin or have twins in their family?
- What is your observation of this book?
- Did you relate to Christa and Cara's relationship?
2. Did you like this memoir?
- Did it remind you of any other memoirs you have read?
- What did you think about her writing style and the way she broke -up the book?
3. Christa mixes in excerpts from Cara’s writings throughout the book. How did this help in your understanding of Cara?
4. What was Christa's most admirable quality? Cara's?
5. What makes the relationship between identical twins unique from that of just siblings, or even fraternal twins?
- Do you think that identical twins are biologically prone to think and feel the same way, or is it something that evolves from their inextricably knit experiences?
6. Art is a significant part of the sisters’ lives. What do you think it meant for them to be able to create works of art in the midst of their tumultuous lives?
- Do you or have you ever found art to be able to help you through a difficult time in your own life?
7. What is the importance of home and location in the sisters’ lives?
- How did their constant displacement as children affect their idea and need for a home as adults?
- What does “home” mean to you?
8. The book is mostly comprised of Christa’s memories of her life with her sister. Christa says that it’s hard to tell if her memories are true without Cara; that she is “the sole historian left to record [their] lives.” Think back on the memories you have of growing up. How do we distinguish truth from mere memories? And does truth matter when it comes to your own experiences, or is it the things you take from those moments that really count?
9. Do you think the body is a mere vehicle for the person or is it a part of your whole self?
- Do you think it is possible to detach yourself from your body?
- After Cara suffered a horrific rape, how was she changed?
- What seems to have happened to her connection with her body?
10. There are times in the book when Cara tries to overcome her addictions. Do you think addiction is genetic?
- Are certain personality types more prone to addiction?
11. What do you make of Christa’s conversation with the psychic?
- Do you believe in the supernatural and that we can communicate with those who have passed?
- Do you think that Christa’s visions of Cara were actually visits from another world, or were they illusions of dreams and grief?
12. Christa’s connection to her husband, Anthony, was unlike any other she had with a man. They both experienced much heartache and pain throughout their lives. Why do you think Christa was so drawn to him from the start?
- Are the best matches the ones who are as equally broken as we are?
