Thursday, July 24, 2025

Book Discussion: All Fours by Miranda July



Book is about straddling being a mother/wife and a person.[O]f course, in a patriarchy your body is technically not your own until you pass the reproductive age.”The two women she is with in the novel are younger and older versions of herself. Maybe the book is about wanting what you want and getting it too.


In the novel the narrator sets out to become a driver after being a self professed parker. The terms "Parker" and "Driver" describe two distinct personality types and approaches to life. A "Driver" is someone who can find engagement and joy in everyday life, even when it's mundane, while a "Parker" needs a specific, challenging, and often applause-worthy task to feel alive. In what ways do you think she succeded? 

Duality in the novel: parker/driver, mother/wife, wife/person, men/women, 

What role does the phrase "every day is Tuesday" play in the novel? What does it mean to different characters within the story. 
-Davey doesn't work Tuesdays
-Arkanda doesn't use days of the week
-If you had hormonal consistency every day may as well be Tuesday

How does the narrators father's concept of the walk-in or original soul play out in the book? p. 223

Why did the author decide to fly and not drive to NY in the epilogue.

What does the book say about men?
    -p. 81"The women I had dated were often my own age, that was fine. But the men always had to be older than me because if they were my same age then it became too obvious how much more powerful I was and this was a turnoff for both of us. Men needed a head start for it to be even."

The narrator and her husband have a complicated relationship to one another.
-Page 14 she states "Sometimes Harris will seem to have rapport with a waitress or a cashier and I immediately cede to them as a couple-I internally step aside and give my place to the other woman, just for a few seconds, until the transaction is over.""Being a third wheel is my natural state."

How does Miranda July explore the themes of aging, sexuality, and identity in "All Fours"? How do these themes intersect throughout the novel?
-p 85 "If birth was being thrown energetically up into the air, we aged as we rose. At the height of our ascent we ere middle-aged and then we fell for the rest of our lives, the whole second half. Falling might take just as long, but it was nothing like rising. The whole time you were rising you could not imagine what came next in your particular, unique journey; you could not see around the corner. Whereas falling ended the same way for everyone."
-p249 sad character of Audra was all in the narrators head

How did the narrator come to the conclusion in the middle of the book that  sex and bodily freedom was the secret to everything. That the best way to understand peoples realities is to have sex with them. p 251. What is she really experiencing in this moment (after sex with Audra.)

The narrator's experience with fetal-maternal hemorrhage plays a significant role in the story. How does this traumatic event shape her relationships and decisions throughout the novel?

Discuss the significance of the motel room renovation. What does this space represent for the narrator, and how does it contribute to her journey of self-discovery?


How does July portray the concept of motherhood in the novel? How does the narrator's relationship with her child, Sam, evolve throughout the story?

Discuss the role of art and creativity in the narrator's life. How does her career as an artist influence her personal journey?

How does July use humor and unconventional situations to address serious topics like mortality, menopause, and marital dissatisfaction?

How does July's writing style contribute to the overall impact of the novel? Discuss specific passages or techniques that you found particularly effective or memorable.


Discuss the novel's treatment of marriage and long-term relationships. How does the narrator's relationship with Harris evolve, and what does this say about the nature of commitment?


"All Fours" contains explicit sexual content and frank discussions about the body. How did you react to these elements of the novel? In what ways do you think the explicit nature of the book contributes to or detracts from July's exploration of sexuality, aging, and self-discovery?

Why don't you think the author gave the main character a name? Were we supposed to identify her with Miranda July? Were we supposed to find her universal?
This book was extremely polarizing for a lot of reasons but very much in the way it discusses middle aged womanhood. Do you think it's possible to broach that topic in a way that doesn't create a divide?


Another meeting that has a big impact on the narrator is her meeting with Audra. After she leaves Audra, she walks for hours and has a series of epiphanies, eventually deciding that the lesson she’s learned is that the road at midlife “splits between: a life spent longing vs. a life that was continually surprising.” (p. 212) After her big argument with Harris about the video, she leans into this lesson even more (p. 218):


Most of us wouldn’t do anything different, ever. Our yearning and quiet rage would be suppressed and seep into our children and they would hate this about us enough to do it a new way. That was how most change happened, not within one lifetime but between generations. If you really wanted to change, you had to believe that you were both yourself and your baby; you had to let yourself be completely reborn within one life.
-What do you think about this lesson? 
-Does it ring true to you? 
-Is this a lesson that applies only to mothers/women, or is it something that fathers/men can also learn from? 
-What does “believing that you are both yourself and your baby” mean in the context of her relationship with Sam, the trauma of Sam’s birth, and her difficulty connecting with Sam except in the bathtub? 
-In what ways does what she learns in her meetings with her married friends in Room 321 change or reinforce this lesson?

Let’s talk a little about Jordi and the narrator’s friendship. We know from part one that Jordi is one of the only people the narrator can be herself with (p. 14). Jordi is constantly both her cheerleader and her voice of reason, pointing out when she’s taking things too far or when she’s missing details (like how if she’s lying to Harris, she’s also lying to Sam (p. 184). She keeps the narrator’s secrets even though she doesn’t like lying (p. 76) and is there whenever the narrator needs her.
-Why does the narrator feel that she can be herself with Jordi but not with Harris or Sam? 
-Why do you think Jordi is still friends with the narrator? 
-What does Jordi get from this relationship? 
-Would you stay friends with someone like the narrator based on what we see of her friendship with Jordi in this novel?

The third important meeting in this section of the novel is the narrator’s meeting with Arkanda, who she learns also had a traumatic birth experience related to FMH. After this meeting, the narrator has another realization as she recognizes that she’s acting as a guardian to Room 321 but doesn’t own it, despite all of the time and money and energy she’s put into it.
-What about her meeting with Arkanda opens up this new way of seeing the room? 
-Do you think that the flashbacks will stop now that she’s been able to connect with someone who’s had a similar experience? 
-What about this meeting and/or this realization led her to the decision to write her story?
-How do you feel about the “narrator is actually the author of this fictional story” trope that is revealed at the very end of part three? Is it better or worse than the “it was all a dream” trope?


After the telephotographer roleplay and their big argument, the narrator and Harris reach an unconventional solution for their marriage: to become a “nonconforming family” (p. 278).
-Which problems does their arrangement solve? 
-What other problems does it cause? 
-Do you think it’s sustainable? 
-Do you think it’s fair/workable for all parties involved?
-Is the goal of a family for it to be fair/workable for all parties involved, or is there necessarily one or more parties who are always going to be short-changed?)

In the end, it feels like the entire novel has been moving in the direction of this solution. How do you feel about this journey? Did it end where you expected it to?

On page 360 Jordi states " Everyone thinks doggy style is so vulnerable. But its actually the most stable position. Like a table. It's hard to be knocked down when you are on all fours." What is your take on this, and what does that idea mean in the larger context of the story?

Did you feel that the epilogue successfully tied up loose ends or was it frustrating to see time move forward without any real acknowledgment of the way her actions effected the people around her?

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