Book Discussion: Her: a memoir

Her: a memoir by Christa Paravanni


Discussion Questions:

1. Is anyone here a twin or have twins in their family?

• What is your observation of this book? 
• Did you relate to Christa and Cara's relationship?

2. Did you like this memoir?

• Did it remind you of any other memoirs you have read?
• What did you think about her writing style and the way she broke -up the book?

3. Christa mixes in excerpts from Cara’s writings throughout the book. How did this help in your understanding of Cara?

4. What was Christa's most admirable quality? Cara's?

5. What makes the relationship between identical twins unique from that of just siblings, or even fraternal twins?

• Do you think that identical twins are biologically prone to think and feel the same way, or is it something that evolves from their inextricably knit experiences?

6. Art is a significant part of the sisters’ lives. What do you think it meant for them to be able to create works of art in the midst of their tumultuous lives?

• Do you or have you ever found art to be able to help you through a difficult time in your own life?

7. What is the importance of home and location in the sisters’ lives?

• How did their constant displacement as children affect their idea and need for a home as adults? 
• What does “home” mean to you?

8. The book is mostly comprised of Christa’s memories of her life with her sister. Christa says that it’s  hard to tell if her memories are true without Cara; that she is “the sole historian left to record [their] lives.” Think back on the memories you have of growing up. How do we distinguish truth from mere memories? And does truth matter when it comes to your own experiences, or is it the things you take from those moments that really count?

9. Do you think the body is a mere vehicle for the person or is it a part of your whole self?

• Do you think it is possible to detach yourself from your body? 
• After Cara suffered a horrific rape, how was she changed? 
• What seems to have happened to her connection with her body? 

10. There are times in the book when Cara tries to overcome her addictions. Do you think addiction is genetic?

• Are certain personality types more prone to addiction? 

11. What do you make of Christa’s conversation with the psychic?

• Do you believe in the supernatural and that we can communicate with those who have passed? 
• Do you think that Christa’s visions of Cara were actually visits from another world, or were they illusions of dreams and grief?

12. Christa’s connection to her husband, Anthony, was unlike any other she had with a man. They both experienced much heartache and pain throughout their lives. Why do you think Christa was so drawn to him from the start?

• Are the best matches the ones who are as equally broken as we are?

Book Discussion: Station Eleven

Discussion Questions:

What is the metaphor of the Station Eleven comic books? How does the Undersea connect to the events of the novel?

Who was your favorite character and why? Did you have a least favorite character other than the prophet?

Why are some characters referred to by their name, and other's just by the instrument they play. For example: the clarinet

The author weaves so many story lines together and connects them all in the end. What were some storylines or little details you enjoyed seeing her link together?

In the case of the story, is it better to have known a way of life and to lose it or to have never known it at all?

 On page 278 Clark recalls with Garrett a time before the flu when they would abbreviate in emails and use idioms like "shoot off an email" and how silly it all seems now. Can you think of something you or society used to do 20 years ago that seems silly now?

Arthur Leander dies while performing King Lear, and the Traveling Symphony performs Shakespeare’s works. On page 57, Mandel writes, "Shakespeare was the third born to his parents, but the first to survive infancy. Four of his siblings died young. His son, Hamnet, died at eleven and left behind a twin. Plague closed the theaters again and again, death flickering over the landscape." How do Shakespearean motifs coincide with those of Station Eleven, both the novel and the comic?

 Certain items turn up again and again, for instance the comic books and the paperweight—things Arthur gave away before he died, because he didn’t want any more possessions. And Clark’s Museum of Civilization turns what we think of as mundane belongings into totems worthy of study. What point is the author making?

 Throughout the novel, those who were alive during the time before the flu remember specific things about those days: the ease of electricity, the taste of an orange. In their place, what do you think you’d remember most?

Jeevan stands out as a central character who ends up disconnected from the overall narrative. Why do you think Mandel chose to devote so much space to him?

The prophet seems to have great control in the novel. Could you see yourself following someone like him in similar circumstances.

Did you have any ideas about why symphony members, and then the entire symphony itself, disappeared from the road?

Book Discussion: The Sense of an Ending

Questions:

What are your thoughts on the book? Did you enjoy it?

Do you think it would have worked better as a full length novel rather than a novella?

How does the book depict youth?

• This was another of our fears: that Life wouldn’t turn out to be like Literature.  Look at our parents—were they the stuff of Literature?  At best, they might aspire to the condition of onlookers and bystanders, part of the social backdrop against which real, true, important things could happen.  Like what? The things Literature was all about: love, sex, morality, friendship, happiness, suffering, betrayal, adultery, good and evil, heroes and villains, guilt and innocence, ambition, power, justice, revolution, war, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, the individual against society, success and failure, murder, suicide, death, God.  (p. 16)

The concept of memory comes up often in the book. How reliable is ones memory? What might influence your memories of the past?

• The less time there remains in your life, the less you want to waste it.  That’s logical, isn’t it?  Though how you use the saved-up hours . . . well, that’s another thing you probably wouldn’t have predicted in youth.  For instance, I spend a lot of time clearing things up—and I’m not even a messy person.  But it’s one of the modest satisfactions of age.  I aim for tidiness; I recycle; I clean and decorate my flat to keep up its value.  I’ve made my will; and my dealings with my daughter, son-in-law, grandchildren and ex-wife are, if less than perfect, at least settled.  Or so I’ve persuaded myself.  I’ve achieved a state of peaceableness, even peacefulness.  Because I get on with things.  I don’t like mess, and I don’t like leaving a mess.  I’ve opted for cremation, if you want to know.  (p. 75)

Veronica accuses Tony of being cowardly, while Tony considers himself peaceable. Whose assessment is more accurate?

How did you interpret Veronica's actions when they meet again as older adults?

Why does Mrs. Ford make her bequest to Tony, after so many years?

Do you think it was fair of Veronica to show Tony that letter he wrote almost 40 years ago. Do the actions of our youth hold merit forever?

Why did Adrian commit suicide? 

What is the significance of the title?

Book Discussion Questions:

What did you think of the book?

Was this your first experience reading a graphic novel?

Have you had a similar discussion with your parents and/or children about aging
and long-term care plans? What was the result? At what age do you think parents
and children should have this conversation?

Did you enjoy Chast’s technique of telling her story through illustrations? Why or why not? Were there scenes in the book that you thought were more or less effective because they were depicted in cartoons rather than in straightforward
text? Which ones, and why?

Which parts of the memoir made you laugh? Which made you cry? Did Chast’s use
of humor surprise you? Do you think it’s necessary or inappropriate to approach
this type of subject with humor?

Have you considered your own end-of-life plans? Why or why not? Was the book
informational for you, and if so, what did you learn? Has reading this book changed
your thinking about your own end-of-life care?

What is the greatest loss that George and Elizabeth experience
as they age?

Were there scenes in the book that you found exasperating?

Book Discussion: Lila

Lila by Marilynne Robinson- Abandoning her homeless existence to become a minister's wife, Lila reflects on her hardscrabble life on the run with a canny young drifter and her efforts to reconcile her painful past with her husband's gentle Christian worldview.

Reverend Ames is 70 at the time of his son's birth (explained in the book Gilead)

http://images.macmillan.com/folio-assets/rgg-guides/9780374187613RGG.pdf

Questions:

What were your impressions of the book?


How did your perception of Doll shift throughout the novel? Why did she rescue Lila?

 As she copies difficult passages from the Bible, Lila continually returns to questions about human suffering and misfortune. What is your response to this debate? How does Lila’s practical wisdom compare to the philosophical wisdom of Ames and Boughton?

What lies at the heart of Lila and Ames’s decision to marry? What needs and longings do they share?

What is the significance of Doll’s knife—both literally (as a weapon) and as a metaphor?

 Which of the novel’s Bible quotations resonated most strongly with you? How were you taught to approach a sacred text?

Does the age difference between Lila and Ames create an imbalance in their marriage?

What beliefs does Doll instill in Lila about nurturing a child?

What were Lilas barriers to trust?
How do you build trust with another person, is it as simple as sharing all that you know-especially our most vulnerable moments?

What did you think of the ending?

Staff Picks

Book Discussion: The Dinner by Herman Koch

Over the course of a meal at a fashionable Amsterdam restaurant, two couples move from small talk during the appetizer to weightier issues. While discussing their sons -- who have done something terrible -- we learn more about what ties the families together, and what seems to be a skewering of upper-class values turns into something far more serious. -- Description by Shauna Griffin, taken from Novelist

Discussion Questions:

The author has set the novel over a meal in a classy restaurant. What do you think he is trying to
illustrate by this choice?

The novel opens with Paul’s commentary on how much Serge irritates him. What accounts for their attitude toward each other? Does Paul’s animosity run deeper than typical sibling rivalry?

In the beginning of the novel Paul talks about his idea of happiness and quotes from Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. What do you think he means when he says that ‘unhappiness can’t stand silence-especially not the uneasy silence that settles in when it is all alone’? -PAGE 6, top 1/2 of page

How does Paul's narration of the story influence the reader's perspective?

Did your feelings about certain characters change as the novel progressed?

How and to what extent do you think Michel is influenced by his father’s rage?

Do you think people can be born with a propensity for violence and evil, or are they more likely to be 
shaped by early life, family and circumstances?

Do Michel and Rick represent the indifference of their generation, or are teenagers more socially conscious in the Information Age?

Ultimately, who is to blame for the homeless woman’s death? What does the novel indicate about the responsibilities (or irresponsibility) of the upper class?

In what way do the courses of a meal— from aperitif to digestif— echo the experience of savoring a suspenseful novel? As the waiter described each delicacy in The Dinner, did the food appeal to you, or did you share Paul’s belief that it was pretentious?

Serge Lohman is willing to sacrifice his entire political career in light of the crime that his son has committed. What do you think his real motive is? Why does his wife so vehemently oppose his decision?

What commentary does the novel offer about the author’s homeland? What aspects of The Dinner would change if it were set in Washington, DC, rather than in the Netherlands?

Fun Facts:

The Dutch adaptation of the film came out in 2013. There is discussion of Cate Blancett making her directorial debut with the American version.